What should surrogates consider when evaluating a potential match?
The most significant consideration is personal compatibility. Surrogates should evaluate their preferences regarding location – whether they want IPs to be local or are comfortable with international matches. Time zone differences, language barriers, and communication styles can significantly impact the journey. Some matches may require communication through agencies or case managers, especially with international IPs. Surrogates should also consider whether they prefer working with single parents or couples, and how involved they want the IPs to be throughout the process.
What are the early warning signs of a potentially problematic match?
Watch for communication patterns that don’t align with your preferences. If you desire involved parents but all communication goes through third parties, that’s a red flag. Conversely, if IPs are overly communicative before the match meeting, it may indicate future boundary issues. The contract phase is typically the “honeymoon period” – if problems arise then, they’re likely to intensify during pregnancy.
What legal protections exist for surrogates in uncomfortable matches?
The primary protection is not signing the contract if the match doesn’t feel right. Contracts include guardrails for decision-making and medical choices. Even with challenging situations like doctor or lawyer IPs who may tend to be more controlling, contracts can establish clear boundaries. Surrogates can request rematch before signing if terms aren’t agreeable.
How important is it for surrogates to interview intended parents?
It’s crucial for surrogates to remember they can and should interview potential IPs. While waiting for a match can be frustrating, rushing into an unsuitable match out of impatience isn’t advisable. Surrogates should consider their own schedules, life events, and non-negotiable requirements when evaluating potential matches.
What role do agencies play in ensuring successful matches?
Agencies aim to facilitate successful matches and should help surrogates identify their “must-haves” and preferences. Whether working with an agency or pursuing an independent match, surrogates should clearly communicate their requirements and be willing to wait for an appropriate match rather than compromising on essential criteria.
How can first-time surrogates set healthy boundaries?
First-time surrogates should utilize available resources, including mental health professionals specializing in surrogacy, agency support groups, and experienced surrogates. If uncomfortable situations arise, they shouldn’t hesitate to involve their attorney or agency for mediation. Remember that setting boundaries isn’t confrontational – it’s essential for a healthy surrogacy journey.
